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MellowMindset

The incredible true story and transformation, of the man who mellowed the world…

What is Mellow Mindset?

Are you a human? Do you live on Mother Earth? Have you ever thought “Wow, my life is so busy. I wish I could slow down and feel better about where I am at in life. Even if it is for just a few minutes”?

If you answered yes to any one (or all) of these questions, then I hope my blog can be a motivational, relaxing, and fun place for you to slip into your Mellow Mindset. Now, I know what your thinking….what exactly is a Mellow Mindset? Good question! It’s probably why you click on this post!

Alright, alright…Let me paint you a picture. Have you ever just…had that moment? Pretty descriptive, huh? Have you ever felt like you’re firing on all cylinders and everything you say and do is natural and smooth? You feel 110%, 5 stars, and ten-feet tall because you are finally authentic you. This can come very easy to some and it can be very difficult for others. Some people are blessed with the ability to drown out negative tide-water of backlash and can still feel confident with their authentic self. Drum roll please…….This is not me.

I have spent my whole life wondering, wishing, and wanting to be different from who God made me to be. It took me years to have the confidence to become the “Purple Dinosaur” that I was made to be. Am I healed and cured from this? NOT EVEN CLOSE. I have chosen to have a more relaxed mentality on the world around me, and I hope I can grow along with each and every one of you. Wait, you want to know what I mean about the Purple Dinosaur? Don’t worry, more on that later…

If there is one thing I want you to get from this post, it’s this. You have the power, everyday, every minute of every hour to become the person you are meant to be. I struggle with this everyday, but with the help of my mellowfellows and mellowfellowets, lets take this journey together. Take a deep breath, understand that life is always going to be busy, and know that you have a way to combat it. Find your happy place (physical surroundings and mentally), say to yourself “the world is tough, but I am tougher”, and slip into your Mellow Mindset…patent-pending. 🙂

P.S. – What’s that? You need a song to help you slip into your Mellow Mindset? Well! Let me help you with that! Brought to my attention from my awesome little sister, enjoy!

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Ready? Set! Suffer.

My first post back after indulging on an incredible journey and the title sounds like I outsourced it to a middle school emo kid.

Shame on you Mellowman! You should be talking about the incredible views, photo-ops, peace you found, and friends you made. Get gone with all this “suffering” bullcrap! Well, in the words that Leonardo DiCaprio probably said “Naw, I’m finna do my own thing”. Plus I really feel that this post could change not only the way you look at pain and suffering in your life, but your life in general. You doubt me? Hop on for the ride.

“The power of positive thinking and how to avoid negative situations in your life.”

Go ahead. I dare you to Google search that last sentence and see what you find. I bettcha that you will be surfing the vast ocean of articles and psychological studies the internet has to offer, probably for eternity. Back in the late 1990’s, psychologist Martin Seligman was a front-runner and pioneer of the positive psychology practice. The goal of this practice was to take people away from the habitual mindset of hopelessness when problems arise and instead breed positive optimism to show people what makes life worth living. This sounds so enticing right? Less pain, more joy! Who wouldn’t want that? The popularity of this practice grew like the Bubonic plaque. Everybody was on board (for positive psychology, not the Bubonic plaque). Motivational speakers popped up all around the country and the “Self-Development” section was created at your local Barnes and Noble. At its core, positive psychology is great! It’s motivating and intellectual, widely accepted and can be very life-changing.  So whats the problem you ask? Well boys and girls, the problem with the world is that the world comes with problems. A heaping, helping, swimming pool full of problems and I don’t care how many self-help books you read, motivational speeches you attend, or wishes your magic genie gives you. At some point, you will have to dive head first into the Swimming Pool of Pain. It’s a part of life. It is an absolutely beautiful part of life.

We all know this. This news is not anything new to anyone yet people hate hearing or reading about it like they hate hearing or reading about Donald Trump (or maybe that’s just me). Why? Well, because it sucks. Nothing about suffering or pain is a good time. Pain and suffering break down the shell that you have built around yourself for so long. The life you grew accustom to becomes foreign and unrecognizable. You feel lost, disheartened, alone, and scared. None of it is inherently fun. All of it is needed, however.

I recently read a book by Mark Manson called “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”. This book is just as beautiful as its title. Mark is a blogger and an internet entrepreneur who has a very witty and impressive take on life and everything life has to offer. Mark talks about his own life and how his experiences have given him some very beneficial practices to helping create a “successful” and “happy” lifestyle. Mark writes about how sticking and exclusively focusing on the positivities can actually harm you far worse than learning from the negatives. Here is one of my favorite quotes from the book:

“We suffer for the simple reason that suffering is biologically useful. It is nature’s preferred agent  for inspiring change. We have evolved to always live with a certain degree of dissatisfaction and insecurity, because it is the mildly dissatisfied and insecure creature that’s going to do the most work to innovate and survive…It turns out that adversity and failure are actually useful and even necessary for developing strong-minded and successful adults.”

Some of you may be going through some serious pain and suffering right now. Some of you may in the near future go through some really traumatic stuff and the pain and suffering will follow. All of us will have to look at ourselves in the mirror someday and the face looking back at them will be one of intense fear, pain, and insecurity. I’ve seen this happen to my closest family, my closest friends, and me. The last thing that I want to tell my family, friends, and myself is that this is a good thing, especially when it feels so bad. It is worth it, soldier. IT WILL NOT BE EASY, but it will be so rewarding. The entitlement of the old naive you will be stripped away to make way for a humbled and empathetic warrior. Your fears and insecurities will feel smaller because you went through hell to get to where you are, making you resilient and ever-growing. You will have more self-confidence and pride knowing that you weathered one of the hardest storms of your life. You will have courage to take on life’s problems knowing that you can handle whatever comes your way. Your values will change from crappy values lying on the surface to battle-tested values lying deep in your soul. Is that enough examples or do you need more?

Don’t turn your back to the problems on the horizon. They are put in your life to mold you, to set you up closer to your destiny. Gold is tested in fire. Show the world how golden you are.

Thank you for reading! I will post about the trip at some point but I just felt as though this message needed to be written down first. If you feel comfortable, please share a time where you felt pain and suffering and how you came out the other side a champion. Send me your stories at blog.mellowmindset@gmail.com. Stay Mellow My Friends

Get Lost – Find Yourself

Wanderers, UNITE! 

What’s up my mellows? I hope all is well. I know what your thinking…and I’m sorry! I missed a post last Thursday. I ran away from responsibilities and went to find some much needed quality time with some old friends from college and my stupendous younger sister. Now I went and traveled to my old college town, and even though Duluth has grown a bunch without my permission, a lot of the town is still the same as it was. It would be hard for someone who spent 5 years of his life to get lost in a town that he knows so well.

Well what the frickity frack is this title all about then? Well its a preemptive post about my adventures next week. Again…….I’m going to be gone and won’t be around any computer service to make a mellow post. So, let the rioting commence.

I’m going to get lost you guys. On purpose. So lost. Like stupidly lost. I have never wanted to be lost more in my life. I am traveling with a very special person in my life to a very special place in my heart. I am going out west to find some adventures, some mountains, some coffee, and most of all….my mind.

As a 24 year old newly into the workforce, I have found that for me to stay sane, I need to get lost. The city with all its lights and sounds, people and places, busy busy busy, go go go mentality is awesome. I do really enjoy it and feel myself turning more and more into a city kid day by day, but, it becomes too much for me sometimes. Even in a place that is exciting all the time, I slip into a routine. Maybe because of the season, I get into a funk. Whatever it is, something has to be shaken up.

To me, shaken up means going out of my element. Going to a place a bit foreign to me and getting to jump in eyes closed, headfirst into a different way of living. I have always been such a fan of mountains that we are traveling out west to go wander. When you get lost, you remember things that are actually important to you because you are without the distractions of modern everyday life. Emails turn into sightseeing, Snapchat turns into face to face conversation, rush hour turns into relaxing by the fire. It’s important for us humans to take a step back. A chance to look at what we really have been blessed with and to find what our full potential is.

“Unplugging” is a buzzword used recently by many sites. Unplugging means to take yourself away from the social distractions and downfalls many people fall into during this technological era. As simple as turning off your phone and going for a walk can significantly improve your mental health while decreasing stress and unhealthy feelings like jealousy.

Here is a cool article about the benefits of “unplugging”.

http://www.becomingminimalist.com/unplug-please/

Every person’s perspective about their technology use and how it affects them varies immensely. Maybe you are the kind of person who doesn’t feel recharged by turning off their phone and going outside. Maybe you can’t afford a trip out west right now ( I’m right there with you *highfive*).

Whatever your case may be, I challenge you to use your time wisely. In a stressful world that’s always connected, sometimes unplugging and getting lost is the perfect medicine. Walk your dog to the dog park, work on those tricky yoga poses, perfect the patent-pending “sit and sip” your coffee on the front porch. A little time away from the devices can go a long way.

If you don’t feel like unplugging away from your devices would help you, I still challenge you to use your time well. Call or text mom, dad, grandma, grandpa, brother, sister, or someone who would enjoy a little communication. Watch videos that would help you be productive or maybe make a soundtrack to motivate you through the workday. Lets start today and be the best we can be!

Thank you for reading! If you have any ideas or any personal “unplugged” stories, please share them with me at blog.mellowmindset@gmail.com. As always, stay mellow my friends.

P.S. I wish I was creative enough to have thought of an amazing title is “Get Lost, Find Yourself”. I stole it from one of my favorite bands. Take a listen below if you would like!

Purple Dinosaur

This is going to be a lot shorter post today due to amazing global warming weather and lack of mental concentration. Seriously Trump…I’m wearing flip-flops on a 60 degree day in February…in MINNESOTA! You’re right. Global warming isn’t real. I digress…

In my first post I ever did for this blog, there was as snippet where I told you to unleash your inner purple dinosaur for the world to see! If you missed reading my first post, click here and give it a glance. It’s good stuff.

Now, I get why this is confusing. Why the color purple? Why a dinosaur? Are we supposed to be Barney? Well…Purple is a rad color, Dinosaurs are the coolest things like….ever, and no….I get why you asked, but no.

Give credit to where credit is due. This mindset was given to me by who I will call my Mellow Momma. I came home from school one day so upset. Slamming doors, throwing my backpack on the ground and just encompassing the perfect amount of pre-teen angst. I was all pissed because I wasn’t up to par with “the cool kids” in my class, or at least that’s what my mind was telling me. One individual in particular who we will call Mr. Coolio Supremeo. I locked myself in my room to try to release some of my anger on the Elite Four on Pokemon Red Version.

Eventually Mellow Momma came in to talk about what was going on and the number I was doing on the door frames. I remember breaking down to her about how I won’t ever be as cool as Mr. CS. How everyone likes him and he is a jerk and the whole world adores him because he can pitch a baseball 70 mph. I measured myself up to him on my own scale. I let him make me feel inferior. That is when Mellow Momma dropped some of the best knowledge bombs on me that I have ever heard.

“You know, when you look in the mirror you are going to see yourself, the purple dinosaur. Now the purple dinosaur has many qualities that the world needs. Life on this earth would be a lot different if the purple dinosaur was not a part of it. However, on this earth, you are going to find many dinosaurs. Red dinos, green dinos, yellow dinos, and blue dinos too. They all have a purpose. Each dino has a life set in front of them that was given to them since birth. Since you are the purple dinosaur that this world has, you create in your head what you believe to be your purpose. Now there are going to be days where you want to be the red dino. You may dress, talk, walk, act, and mimic the red dinosaur perfect. This may work for a while, but eventually, your purple dinosaur is going to shine through. The dinosaur that the world needs. So instead of providing self-worth to the other dinosaurs, give yourself the self-worth that the purple dinosaur deserves. Use your skills and your attributes only purple dinosaurs possess and change the world with it. The world deserves and needs what only the purple dinosaur can offer.”

Wow. You win the Mellow award Mellow Momma. Great advice that I still try to live by everyday.

Some of you may not see what you want to see in the mirror, and that’s ok. Remember that there is always time to make a change to better yourself emotionally, physically, spiritually, or maybe all three. Just remember that everyone’s journey in life is different because everyone is a different dinosaur. If you try too hard to focus on being the dinosaur that God didn’t intend you to be, then that dinosaur may go unnoticed and that’s a real shame. The dinosaur deserves a shot just like the other dinos.

Wow. I wish I had a dollar for every time I used the word “dinosaur” or “dino” in this post. I could probably buy a dinosaur….har har. Anyway thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think of the post by giving it a like or a comment. It helps me out a lot. Got a coming of age “dinosaur” story? What about just a coming of age story? If so, drop me a line at blog.mellowmindset@gmail.com. I would love to read it. Stay Mellow My Friends

Life Lessons According to Yoda

SURPRISE!  Excited about this post am I. Mega Nerd I am. Like the “stay up real late on a weeknight making Chewbacca sounds with my friends as we wait in line for the early showing of The Force Awakens” kind of nerd. Sooner or later my true colors were going to shine through. So, why not force push this mentality out early and get it over with?

Once a month I want to have a post where I showcase somebody as a Mellow Role Model. Someone who can teach us a thing or two about unlocking your inner authenticity, falling in love with the struggles in life to help you grow stronger, and energizing your Mellow Mindset. What is this week’s Mellow Role Model? My dude from Dagobah, the green-machine, 2′ 2″ with the perfect mix of zen and badassary…my friend Yoda. What’s that? You’re saying its unfair to have Yoda as a Mellow Role Model because he isn’t real? First off he is probably definitely real. Secondly, its my blog and I do what I want!

Real talk, there are definitely some solid life lessons that can be learned from the Jedi Master. I used to watch these movies with my dad and even when I was a little I picked up some of the gems that Yoda blesses us with. Here are a few of my favorite Yoda quotes and how you can relate them to your life.

  • “In this war, a danger there is, of losing who we are.“ – Star Wars: The Clone Wars

Now not many of us are going to find ourselves involved in an intergalactic clone war in our lifetime. Or maybe we will, I mean it’s 2017 anything can happen. Even though we cannot relate to the struggles of space war, what we all can relate to is the struggles of life. Life is hard. Life sucks sometimes. As we try to navigate the narrow and broken road of life, at some point I’m sure you will feel a bit lost and distraught.  These struggles really shake us because we don’t want these situations to change us into something we don’t want. We always try to avoid struggles and pain because we are afraid what it will do to us. I think the opposite needs to happen. Life is going to have struggles, there will be pain, ignoring it is ignorant. Learn to Jedi Mind-trick yourself into believing that true and authentic happiness comes from struggle and that pain is one of the best teacher you can have in your life. Avoiding pain and struggle is like running on a treadmill, it’s hard work but doesn’t get you very far. Accept the tough and deal with it and watch yourself grow tenfold.

  • “Size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well you should not.” – Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

“For my ally is the force, and a powerful ally it is”. Seriously guys this post is making me geek out on a most excellent level. I admit this may not be Yoda’s best line but it hits close to home for me as I was one of the shortest guys in my class and I held onto this quote tightly back then. This has more to do than sticking up for the vertically challenged, this is about not judging a book by its cover. At face value, Yoda seems old, weak, short, and somewhat delusional. Dig down below the surface and you will see how incredibly powerful, athletic, and wise our little green dude is. You learn that he is the most powerful Jedi in the galaxy.  The lesson? Don’t take people at face value. The lady on the train, that guy who walks by your house and digs in the trash, that person who seems to be a little too confident in the office. There is a lot more going on then what’s happening on the surface.

  • “Do or do not. There is no try.” – Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

This line is incredible. So good in fact that I used to write this on the back of receipts to customers at my first job at MacDaddy’s restaurant. Shout out to you Big Stone City, SD. One, two, or 50 million times I have found myself not giving my full potential on something. To me this quote means that you must commit yourself to something fully to see results. Laziness, self-doubt, anxiousness will creep in and may make you think that you won’t perform to you highest potential. By eliminating the word try from your vocabulary, you already have a step-up on your doubt. You accept that your attempt may not reap the results you are looking for, but that’s OK! You will learn from the opportunities that were presented to you and better yourself in the process. Now we have a lot more training before we can lift large objects with our minds, will, and the force. What we can do, however, is believe in our abilities and take on life’s challenges with confidence and know that you are one with the force and the force is with you.

Thank you so much for reading. I hope Star Wars inspires you as much as it inspires me. If not, drop me a line at blog.mellowmindset@gmail.com and tell me what movie really inspires you or what you thought of the post. Stay Mellow My Friends.

L.O.V.E. Lots Of Varied Emotions

Well folks…

We did it! February 14th, 2017. We all know what that means. People are getting ready and excited to celebrate this very special and important day! Yes you guessed it, national Ferris Wheel day! Remember it is important to celebrate. Something this special only happens once a year, which means you should focus all your efforts on Ferris Wheels today, right?

Wrong…Ferris Wheels rule but that’s not what I’m getting at.

When I was coming up with ideas about this post, I realized that I am going to be one of the many people making fun of Valentine’s Day. I am by no means against what Valentine’s Day means at its core and Saint Valentine is the man but again, that’s not what I’m getting at. What I am getting at is the perception of Valentine’s Day and how the genuineness and authenticity of the holiday is bruised and battered nowadays. It’s called the “Hallmark Holiday” for a reason. Many businesses use this holiday to cash in on the notion that love can in fact be bought. The biggest bouquet of roses, the most divine set of chocolates, and the absurd amount of red balloons. It’s almost like we try to outdo ourselves from what we did last year and the expectations are so high.

Psst, Ryan. This website is called Mellow Mindset. Remember? You are writing about how people can unlock their inner potential while finding a sense of peace. Not a lot of peace was in that last paragraph. Zip it brain, I’m getting to it! Many people tend to see this day as more anxious and annoying than it is enjoyable and loving. I think the constant barrage of social media posts and the market telling you “if you don’t have love today then you are a loser” doesn’t help that mentality at all. As humans, we are meant for love and we are emotional creatures which is why a holiday like this makes complete sense in a marketing standpoint. Some people may not have that special someone to celebrate with this year. This can be really hard for some folks and trust me, I’m one of those people. It’s tough on the national day of love when you don’t have the opportunity to show your true and authentic love.

Which is why I came up with this post and this idea. If the sun rises, your alarm goes off, and you get to celebrate another day, then you have an opportunity to love! Lets say you have a special someone who you get to celebrate with today, well awesome! Make it genuine! Let that person see how much you care about them. These are the experiences and situations that really grow a relationship to the next level. Just make sure to remember to show love everyday, not just on the day that everyone tells you to do so. Flowers don’t always have to be red roses on Feb. 14th and saying “I love you” with meaning behind it doesn’t have to be at a candlelit dinner. You get to celebrate this everyday which is a pretty cool opportunity.

Now the ones that don’t get to celebrate tonight. Believe it or not, this day is an awesome reminder for you as well! Like I stated above, everyday is an opportunity to celebrate love. Sometimes the person that needs your love the most is well…you. This is your time to shine. Celebrate in the fact that you are taking the time to work on becoming that authentic and healthy person that you and your future partner deserves. A person who has created a place for love in their heart when the time comes, but doesn’t let someone else define their self-worth and happiness. Having a loving and caring relationship with yourself is the first step in having something real and authentic later on in life. Work on what YOU need today and everyday because you are the only rad you this world has.

Thank you for reading! If you have any cool experiences with genuine love, please let me know by dropping me a line at blog.mellowmindset@gmail.com. Stay Mellow My Friends and celebrate the opportunity to love everyday.

P.S. Here are some Ferris Wheels you can check out to celebrate National Ferris Wheel Day!

Betty Danger’s Ferris Wheel 

Ferris Wheel at the Mall of America

Valleyfair Ferris Wheel

List of the top 10 largest Ferris Wheels on earth

Feeling Inspired?

There is a Chinese saying that goes: “If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.”

Something that really fuels me and makes me feel good is completely taking myself out of the picture and focusing my love and efforts on someone or something else entirely. Donating my time, efforts, or money helps lift my spirits knowing I am making the world a better place!

This is not at all a post trying to force you into donating your hard-earned money, it’s actually something else entirely.

It’s a challenge…

I challenge you to find something that you enjoy, something you are passionate about, or something that you feel you can make a difference towards AND DO IT. Maybe you have wanted to start volunteering in your community more, maybe you have always wanted to join a self-help group but kept making excuses not to, or maybe you have wanted to donate to something.

First of all, good for you. Secondly, take this positive energy and do something about it! If you have a dollar and a dream, you can make the world a better place!

Here are a list of some places I donate to/ feel passionately about.

-The Water Project
https://thewaterproject.org

-Mission of Hope
http://mohhaiti.org/

-Before the Flood
Watch the Trailer – http://channel.nationalgeographic.com/before-the-flood/videos/before-the-flood-trailer/
Web Page – https://www.beforetheflood.com/

This list shall continue at a later date! Alas, be the good you want to see in the world, trust me…the world will follow. You have a community of mellow-folks who have your back.

Got something to share about your inspiring stories? Share them at blog.mellowmindset@gmail.com

This is seriously awesome…

Honestly, when I was thinking about blogging, the person who inspired me the most was the creator of the blog Behind The Seat. She remains anonymous until you get blessed with her presence as your Uber ride-share driver.

Behind The Seat is an in-depth view of the experiences and situations through the eyes of a female ride-share driver. She talks about the diverse and interesting groups of people she has met while she is out driving. If you are looking for a great read and an amazing looking blog, look no further that Behind The Seat.

Behind The Seat has won the first ever Mellow-Movement Award! A fake but impressive sounding award given to individuals who tapped into their Mellow Mindset.

Read the blog Behind The Seat by clicking the link below

https://behindtheseat.wordpress.com/

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